Whichever pair I am wearing—old or new, boot or sneaker—my left shoe always comes untied while I’m walking, and my right one never does.

Whichever pair I am wearing—old or new, clear or tinted or sun—my spectacles always end up lopsided on my face, with the right eye higher than the left.

Apparently, I am unbalanced from head to toe.

(And I am not going to delve into the eternal struggle between the hemispheres of my brain.)