Things that happened this week:

1. Rob picked out some sugar-free ice cream sandwiches that taste like ice-cream-sandwich-flavored sawdust. The ice cream bars I picked out melted before we got home.

2. My therapist observed that I have feelings of superiority to humanity in general. This is neither news nor strictly true. I do, however, feel vastly more evolved than the fifty percent of Americans who think that President Sanctimonious Chimpanzee is doing a good job. This is significant, considering that I do not often have a high opinion of myself.

3. We watched the “Bewitched” in which it was revealed that the Loch Ness Monster was really a warlock who was transformed by Serena for being too pesty.

4. Goblin chased some squirrels, ripped the stuffing out of her new toy raccoon, and devoured a used popsicle stick she found on the floor.

That is all.