The Acela Express train:

Businessman One: The only problem with subscribing to Sports Illustrated is that three days later, I’m looking for another magazine. I’m digging around for catalogs, whatever, anything to read.

Businessman Two: But what about that Swimsuit Issue, eh?

Businessman One: Aw, man, I don’t even read the Swimsuit Issue. I don’t even look at it.

Businessman Two: Wha—?

Businessman One: All those bodies look like they were grown in a . . . hermetically . . . sealed . . . farm . . . somewhere in Texas.

Later, after they disembarked, a woman reminiscent of Florence Jean Castlebury (from “Alice”) and a Filipina woman took their seats. “You have the biggest Asian business association in America,” Flo repeated time and again. The Filipina woman nodded, seemingly not confident of this, but I was in nonetheless in awe to be in the presence of both Florence Jean Castlebury and a representative of what might possibly have been the biggest Asian business association in America.