Last night, I avoided the State of the Union speech as delivered by a sanctimonious and astonishingly mendacious chimpanzee in favor of hearing the opinions of an astonishingly opinionated little dog. And frankly, after listening to Goblin’s views on such topics as family and social dynamics, I am convinced that even she could run this country better than the current administration.

But I digress.

The pet psychic reported that Goblin is a happy dog with humanlike intelligence and a confident and quirky personality. In fact, one of her only complaints in life is sartorial: she would like to wear more frilly outfits, in colors such as pink and red. She would also like a flashy collar, perhaps with embedded rhinestones.

Now, I confess that my dog has sported such outfits as devil ears, a sinister black cape, and bat wings. These are just the sorts of things that leapt to mind when it comes to outfitting her, based upon her general appearance. I know now that I was just being prejudiced, assigning her these items based upon her looks alone.

But if I can admit that, I would like her to admit that her longing for frilly pink outfits is gender stereotyping of the worst sort. The fact that she is ten inches tall and has eight nipples does not mean she needs to become a Barbie doll. I know I raised her better than that.

This discussion is not over.