This afternoon, I played frisbee for the first time in twenty-five years. One would think that if one is good at something when one is six, one has the potential to be even better when one is in his (ahem) late twenties, but one would be mistaken. Every one of my tosses sent people scurrying in hot pursuit, tripping over boulders, or crashing face-first into prickly tree branches. I suppose I could claim it was all part of my nefarious plan and leave it at that.

Note to self: revise nefarious plan.

It did get me thinking, however, about things that happened when I was a child. I remember when I was in fifth grade. My teacher was Miss Sonnenberg, who used to give us credit for bringing in newspaper articles every morning for an activity called “What’s in the News?” Each student was to clip an article from the paper, present a précis to the class, and then pin it to the bulletin board labeled “What’s in the News?”

Naturally, I could never be bothered to do any of this, and over time, several of my classmates came to feel the same way; the number of “What’s in the News?” presentations dropped considerably. But one morning, Miss Sonnenberg announced she was to be observed by the Board of Education the following day and entreated us to be on our best behavior. It would also help, she went on to say, if everyone was to participate in the “What’s in the News?” discussions, as it was a concept she was proud of.

I went home determined to bring in an article the next morning, and the next morning, I forgot all about it. A number of my classmates were in the same boat, but luckily a regular black market in newspaper clippings had sprung up in the cloakroom before school started. Someone had brought in an entire Metro section, and all of the class slackers were partaking of it.

Except, as a safety patrol, I arrived in the classroom after everyone else, when all of the good articles were taken. Flipping through the holey newsprint, I quickly tore out the only thing remaining and ran to my desk. The observers filed in on schedule and we enthusiastically launched into “What’s in the News?” To make Miss Sonnenberg look good, we students fell all over ourselves to make a good impression with our articles and enthusiasm. When she asked for volunteers to present, every hand in the room went up, including mine.

I was selected.

I pushed my chair back.

I stood up.

Everyone leaned forward in rapt attention as I began to read . . . the obituaries.