And now for a complete change of pace.

At the recommendation of our friend Richard, who transcribes television programs for TLC, Rob and I caught an episode of “For Better or For Worse” the other day. At first, I thought it was some sort of terrible, sad joke, but it turned out to be terrible, sad reality.

The premise is that the friends and family of an affianced couple come together to plan their wedding for a mere $5,000, provided by the producers. From this fund must be purchased the venue, the décor, the cake, the reception, the entertainment, and the bride’s and groom’s attire . . . and every single element is kept secret from the happy couple until the moment the wedding is to commence. The resulting pandemonium is overseen and directed by a professional wedding planner.

In the episode we watched, the friends and mothers of a young couple planned a Malibu beach wedding with a Hawaiian theme. The friends voted to dress the bride in a white bikini, which as one might imagine, conserved a great deal of money from the dress budget. The bathing suit and matching sarong cost $179. The bride’s monstrous mother, however, egged on by the groom’s mother, did not “want to see my baby married in no bathing suit,” so she sneaked out and bought a $200 gown that she felt was more worthy of her offspring.

The professional planner ultimately sneaked the dress back to store for a refund, but the scene in which the mother triumphantly revealed the polyester fruit of her secret wedding-gown plot is perhaps the single greatest moment ever to grace a television screen.

Just for comparison sake, the group had a box of flowers airlifted in from Hawaii for $750.

Happy Marriage Protection Week, everyone!