Yes, I am home.

Thank you for moderating your groans of disappointment. I have a headache.

All right, I do not have a headache, but I am covered from head to toe in mosquito bites, and I have also bitten off all of my fingernails so I cannot scratch them.

Well, the reason was not so that I could not scratch my mosquito bites, it was because I was in an airplane that was doing scary things, and I bit them off in a fit of nerves. After things smoothed out, I looked down in my lap and saw a pile of fingernail pieces. (I do not swallow the fingernail pieces after I bite them off, lest they become lodged in my appendix, reach critical mass there, and cause that organ to explode within my body and shoot the pieces whizzing around my veins until they become lodged in my brain and my intelligence is reduced a millionfold to the level of George W. Bush.)

Anyway, first, I would like to thank Alex for helping me out while I was gone. We will all go visit him at his new blog and make his as successful as this one. (Well, for the sake of the aforementioned nerves, perhaps just a little less successful. But then again, perhaps this is not all that successful to begin with.)

Secondly, I wanted to warn you. Beginning tomorrow, I will be posting sections of my travel journal. It does not quite follow the format this blog usually takes, but you may find it interesting, but even if you do not, it is too bad because there is no escape. There will also be photographs (including the Upside-down Hippo premiere of a photo of myself!). The experience should last about eight days, and it will be agonizing, as if your best friend went away for three weeks and came back and wanted to tell you all about it and made you watch a slide show except you did not have the heart to tell him that you were not remotely interested so the slide show just goes on and on and does not end for eight days.

It will be kinda like that. Except I hope you find it interesting, and if you do not, I hope you post lots of comments to tell me that you do. It is a little rah-rah-Costa Rica at first, but I devolve into my usual, snarky self toward the end of the trip, don’t you worry about that.

In short, I had a great time, and everyone should take a three-week hiatus from his or her blog and go to Costa Rica.

And lastly, I took the Canadian Cosmo Quiz and got a 77. Whoo-hoo, I’m in like Flynn! Alex, here I come!

Heh heh heh.