The good news is that while I do have what my doctor calls "entrenched bronchitis," I do not have asthma. The attack a couple of nights ago was most likely an adverse reaction to the Flonase she prescribed for my allergies, which I had used immediately before bedtime.

The bad news is that, when I went to the grocery store the other day to buy the vanilla, non-fat, organic yogurt I usually get, I accidentally picked up a flavor called "banilla," which, as one might assume, is a nauseating combination of banana and vanilla. Banilla and vanilla are produced by the same company and come in virtually identical containers. Thus, a large tub of banilla yogurt lurks in my refrigerator, rabblerousing and bringing down property values. Yesterday, it challenged the chocolate soy milk to a duel; fortunately, saner heads prevailed.

Ibo (my housecleaner, proprietor of a natural-cake-baking business, and general health-food nut) proselytizes against dairy products and, spurred into action by the container of whey protein on my counter, has already lectured several times on the topic. If he is powerful enough to exorcise the demonic banilla yogurt from my refrigerator, I might just comply.