Erich was not my first boyfriend. The order goes: Bill, Jim, Erich, Doug, Michael, and Rob. Bill was a brilliant, WASPy lunatic who was so terrified of ejaculation that I soon found that the quickest way to end our dreary, fumbling sexual encounters was to claim one was imminent. Jim was a trashy fellow who was just bright enough to have a political viewpoint, but not so bright that it was not conservative. We dated during the 1992 Presidential campaign; his idolization of Dan Quayle and my sudden discovery that he had subtracted at least three years from his actual age (I was twenty, and he had claimed to be twenty-eight but was actually in his thirties) put an end to things rather soon. The next year, I met Erich at a party I had not intended to attend. His Bulgarian accent intrigued me, and the resulting relationship lasted almost five years. Doug told me he loved me on our second date, and things went downhill from there. After we broke up, he became involved with my friend Marcelo, left to become a monk, and then became involved with Marcelo again.

We will be at war tomorrow, or the day after at the latest. This is good news for Dick Cheney, Richard Perle, and all of the other Bush cronies who will prosper financially from this undertaking. It is potentially very bad news indeed for New Yorkers such as myself who must now live with the increased threat of asymmetric warfare. Tom Tomorrow said it best on his brilliant blog: "On behalf of the 75% of my fellow New Yorkers who oppose this little bloodbath, I would like to say to those of you who have supported it so vociferously--and who believe that an administration that can't even get their little color coded charts in order is capable of prosecuting it effectively--well, thanks so much. Thanks for risking our safety and our lives on the basis of nothing more than simplistic propaganda which any child should be able to see through. Thanks for increasing the likelihood that this city will suffer further grief and pain. Lord knows we haven't seen enough of that sort of thing around here already."

Tune in tomorrow for more joy and love.