My DSL is still not working but I will not convey my mourning by reporting any other spooky encounters. Contrary to what is doubtlessly popular belief, I contain only so much morbidity.

Instead, let us discuss situation comedies.

Because of a sudden and terrible illness over the past three days, and because my computer was out of commission last week, I have had opportunity recently to watch a number of them. Here is what I noticed:

On "Designing Women," the house that they show between scenes, intended to be the external view of the Sugarbakers' design firm, cannot possibly be the same building upon which the set is based. In the external view, the front door is flanked by two large windows, but inside, Charlene's desk is on one side of the front door (with bookshelves behind it), and the sweeping grand staircase is on the other. No windows in sight.

The theme song for "Charles in Charge" is weird. "Charles in charge of our days and our nights / Charles in charge of our wrongs and our rights / . . . / I want Charles in charge of me." Does this not sound a bit pervasive, as if Charles is Big Brother with all-seeing chocolate-brown eyes? (Of course, it was filmed during the Reagan years.) Or perhaps Charles is some sort of leather daddy with a whip.

Or perhaps I need to get out more.