Well, I feel better today, although I would like to stay in bed forever, or at least until I can arrange for certain individuals to be eliminated. For the past two days, during my illness, I have been battling with a client who thinks it is desirable to design an entire book without using hyphens.

Certainly, by all means: let us simply ignore what is probably the fourth most popular punctuation mark and the typesetter's best tool at the whim of an office full of ignoramuses who think "it would just look prettier."

While we are at it, shall we—oh, I don't know—eliminate the letter "t" from the text, as well? Of course, that would make the text into the ex, but as I cannot wait to be their ex-designer, perhaps that is entirely appropriate.

In other news, my dear friend made the gay cheerleading squad! The tryouts were last night, and I was too weak and tired to travel down to lower Manhattan to offer my moral support. Nonetheless, I am extremely proud of him. Perhaps I will pack up the whole team and send them off to the offices of a certain client, where they can form a pyramid and exclaim in bloodcurdling tones, "Gimme an H! Gimme a Y! Gimme a P! Gimme another H! Gimme an E! Gimme an N!" And then, as the clients look on in horror when the dreaded punctuation mark is evoked, the cheerleaders can whip out their carefully concealed submachine guns (purchased without difficulty on any street corner, thanks to the effort of Republicans near you) and . . .

Perhaps I need a bit more rest.