POP QUIZ

Multiple choice: Choose the letter that best answers the question.

Which of the following did I not do over the weekend?

(A) Attend a show entitled Christmas with the Crawfords, which portrays the family of Joan Crawford as they are interviewed on the radio by Hedda Hopper on Christmas Eve. Mommie Dearest is joined by other glorious celebrities, such as Shirley Temple, the Andrews Sisters, Bette Davis, Carmen Miranda, Gloria Swanson, Ethel Merman, and Judy Garland, who pop in on the way to Gary Cooper's party to sing holiday carols. An almost-all-male cast.

(B) Slice the back of my hand open with a nut pick while attempting to decorate my own cookie during a holiday party. Don't ask.

(C) Anything I had actually planned to do, including work with a deadline of today and buying any Christmas presents.

As Joan said to Christina, "Figure it out."