They saw us coming.

Goblin and I began our familiar foray into other people's inboxes this morning, but all of our usual haunts suffered from web glitches that left them impervious to plunder. Desperate for new material (since no one ever writes to us), we headed over to the Elder Wisdom Circle and were overjoyed to find that site loading correctly. Of course, the caliber of questions is somewhat lower than we habitués of Miss Manners and Ann Landers are accustomed to, but one suffers through in the name of righteousness.

I have this friend. He is really cool and lately he has been acting kind of weird around me. Today he hugged me and he pushed me off the sidewalk, so he thought I was pulling away and he said oh i see how it is I dont like you either. I saw him pulling up his pants before going to bowl and then he came over to me and said you always see me doing something funny and never when I am serious. Do you think he likes me?

David responds:
You do not give your age, but I find myself desperately hoping that you and your friend are ten years old, the oldest age for which the sort of childish antics you describe are remotely appropriate. However, knowing the populace as I do, I suspect you are thirty-eight and divorced with two kids of your own.

Either way, my response is the same.

If he hugs you forcefully from out of the blue and allows you find him with his pants down, he probably likes you. How do you think I met Rob, after all?

Goblin responds:

Like like like! I like that word! It sounds like lick.

*lick lick lick lick lick lick lick lick lick*

I like to lick!

Daddy says no licking but then I catch him licking Uncle Bobby. Daddy says it's not the same but I think it is. Daddy caught me licking something off the sidewalk and he made me stop. It was macaroni and cheese.

Cheese cheese cheese!

*snork*

Oh yeah, advice: If he hugs you forcefully from out of the blue and allows you to find him with his pants down he probably likes you. How do you think I met Uncle Bobby after all?