Yesterday, I used the money I am expecting for selling my old computer to buy a device I have craved for the past eighteen months: TiVo. This was no doubt an extremely stupid thing to do. TiVo is a dream come true for someone with a hectic schedule who would like to record a lot of television programs. I neither have a hectic schedule nor watch television, but this did not stop me for a microsecond. Further, as I could have used the same amount of money to pay off some of my extensive debts, I can no longer afford to leave my apartment and might as well stay home to watch television live, which eliminates any lingering pretext for using this machine.

Nonetheless, I adore it.

TiVo connects to my computer, cable box, VCR, stereo receiver, DVD player, and phone jack using such a complex system of wires and plugs that it would have given MacGyver pause. After I spent over an hour on the installation and programming (with Rob and Goblin napping in the background), TiVo informed me that it would be unable to operate fully for eight hours, until it had oriented itself to its new surroundings. This is perfectly understandable as far as I am concerned: it must be extremely bewildering to spend so much time in an orange box, and anyone (or anything) might be excused for taking some time to get his (or its) bearings.

TiVo has also insisted upon full and unfettered access to my phone line, which gave me pause until it promised not to call its friends overseas. It also requires an allowance of $12.95 per month, which is reasonable given its immense capacity for making my life easier. Tonight I came home and found three "Judge Judy" episodes waiting for me. The possibilities are endless.