The wedding was lovely to look at, I think. I would have preferred to be in the audience, gazing up at how stunning I was in my tuxedo as I flanked my youngest brother at the ceremony. I am quite certain I also looked stunning as I escorted my mother to her seat and an anonymous bridesmaid with coiled hair up the aisle. One does not like to steal attention away from the bride, but in this case, it could not be helped.

I do not know what to make of weddings. The fact that I cannot officially have one certainly has some bearing on my ambivalence, but there is more to it. While I am sure the whole thing is very nice for the bridal couple, who use the occasion to have their loved ones jump through rather unreasonably sized hoops, I am left to question the culture that has transformed the event into a miniature coronation. I was also stunned (while remaining stunning) to learn that, as a member of the bridal party, I would be announced over a loudspeaker as I entered the reception. Everyone applauded as if I had just crossed Antarctica in rented formalwear, and I kept expecting to see Jay Leno waiting to interview me..