I attended psychotherapy for the first time yesterday, and I will not pretend it was anything other than exhilarating to spend fifty minutes locked in a small room with a man whose only apparent interest was in learning more about me.

This has never happened in all of my days.

We talked about a number of things and made another appointment so we could talk about more things at a later date. I have a feeling we have only scratched the surface because, on my way out, he asked me if I ever remembered my dreams. I do not, but given his interest, I can probably come up with enough to keep us both entertained for weeks to come.

One may ask what has prompted my decision to begin this process, and the answer is threefold:

1. It is covered by my health insurance, which has such an unreasonably high premium that I want to get my money's worth.

2. It will get me out of the house and make TiVo feel useful if I manage to schedule my appointments during "Judge Judy."

3. It is one of a series of experts I have lately consulted to bring my life to a new level of joy, health, and enlightenment. Dr. Wright, Ph.D. joins the ranks of my physician, Dr. Saltzman; my acupuncturist, Roberta Mittman; my one-time spiritual advisor, Becky Gorman; and my personal trainer (and possible future boxing instructor), Kirk Benjamin, with whom I have three remaining sessions.

One day soon, I would like to get all of these people in a room to really work on me from all sides, but I am afraid of what would happen if they talk amongst themselves. It would be the end of the world.