Today, I went to my new acupuncturist, Roberta Mittman, who took a moment to compliment me on my skin. "You have nice skin," said Roberta Mittman. I somehow interpreted this as, "You look far younger than your years," which put a spring in my step for the rest of the day, until I went out for drinks with my younger brother Mike and his ex-girlfriend Alison and did not get carded. Curse you, Roberta Mittman, and your empty compliments!

Alison, fresh from the zoo, was lovely and did not appear to be carrying a taser, although she sat within arm's reach of a heavy cardboard tube. A heavy cardboard tube that in her hands, I have no doubt, could be transformed into a vicious weapon of mass destruction.

I am going to inquire if she can babysit Goblin next weekend.

As for Mike, who is on the verge of quitting his job and moving to Guatemala to learn Spanish, I have to say it was a joy to see him. Not only has it been a long time, I also took a quiet satisfaction in the discovery that he now looks older than I do.

Sorry, I'm gay. What did you expect, arm wrestling?