My new sexy lifestyle is getting off to a wobbly start. Last night, Rob came over to find candles lit, incense smoldering, big band jazz playing softly, and Goblin in her crate for the evening. We fell into each other's arms, moved over to the bed, and utilized ear cones to cleanse our ears of waxy buildup. If you have never done this, try to imagine us taking turns lying on the bed with a burning (hollow) candle stuck in one ear. Then we watched The Emperor's New Groove and went to bed.

Ear hygiene and Disney cartoons. My mother has nothing to worry about.

In other news, my friend Bryan came to visit today from Tennessee. Worn out from the previous night of debauchery, I had to drag myself through the afternoon, praying he would not receive the impression that everyone in New York is as boring as I am. We went to the Museum of Natural History to see dead animals behind glass then to Central Park to chase living (and decidedly saucy) squirrels with Goblin. And since Rob is leaving again in the morning to rehearse another production of Vanishing Point, it looks like my new sexy lifestyle may be postponed indefinitely.

I will just have to channel my energy into something else.

"Gee, Daddy, what do you want to do tonight?"

"The same thing we do every night, Goblin: try to take over the world!"