Today, Tiffany and I went out to our old apartment for the last time to clean up and return our keys. Humberto, in jolly spirits, conducted an inspection and declared that our security deposit would be returned. This had been by no means certain, as my couch, so beautiful to look at, has a menacing underside that made a deep scratch in the floor when we first moved in. Humberto walked over the scratch without batting an eye. All was well. For old times' sake, we secretly recorded him saying so.

It felt good leaving Queens behind, but the borough had the last laugh. Underground, on the way home, we were trapped for almost two hours in the sweltering heat because of problems with the subway. At rush hour. I carried a large mirror that we had neglected to move earlier, and I amused myself by showing Tiffany what she looked like trapped underground for two hours in the sweltering heat at rush hour.

It was not pretty.

(Note to self: warn Joe about that menacing underside before he brings the couch into his new apartment.)